The MBA was not a mistake, exactly, but it was definitely a choice I made for the wrong reasons

I want to be clear that I am not anti-education. I am anti-the-specific-story-I-told-myself-about-what-a-degree-would-fix.

The story went like this: if I got the right credentials, I would feel legitimate. Secure. Like someone who deserved to be in the room. The MBA was the final piece. After that, surely, the impostor syndrome would pack its bags and leave.

It did not pack its bags. It got a corner office.

What the MBA actually gave me: a network I rarely use, a debt I spent years paying off, and a very thorough understanding of discounted cash flow analysis that has never once come up at a dinner party.

What it did not give me: the feeling that I belonged. The certainty that I was doing the right thing. Any clarity whatsoever about what I actually wanted from my life.

I think about the person who enrolled in that program. She was so sure that the answer was more. More credentials, more achievement, more proof. I want to go back and tell her: the proof was never going to come from outside. But also, she wouldn't have believed me. She had a very important exam to study for.